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第25章微笑的力量ThePowerofSmile
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戴尔·卡耐基Daleegie
Youmusthaveagoodtimemeetingpeopleifyouexpectthemtohaveagoodtimemeetingyou.
Ihaveaskedthousandsofbusiosmileatsomeoneeveryhourofthedayforaweekaodtalkabouttheresults.Howdiditwork?Let'ssee...HereisaletterfromWilliamB.Steinhardt,aockbroker.His'tisolated.Infact,itistypidredsofcases.
“IhavebeenmarriedfhteeeMr.Steinhardt,“andinallthattimeIseldomsmiledatmywifeorspoketwodozenwordstoherfromthetimeIgotupuntilIwasreadytoleaveforbusiness.IwasogrouchesnBroad->
“Wheomakeatalkaboutmyexperiehsmiles,IthoughtIwouldtryitforaweek.Sothem,whileyhair,Ilookedatmyglummuginthemirrorandsaidtomyself,‘Bill,ytowipethescoussofyourstoday.Ytosmile.Ahtnow.'AsIsatdow,Igreetedmywifewitha‘G,mydear,’andsmiledasIsaidit.
“Youwarshemightbesurprised.Well,youuedherrea.Shewasbewildered.Shewasshocked.ItoldherthatiureshecouldexpectthisasaregularodIkeptitupevery
“Thisgedattitudehtmorehappioourhomeihssiedthantherewasduriyear.
“AsIleaveformyoffice,Igreettheelevatoroperatorimeha‘G’athedoormanwithasmile.IsmileatthethesubwayboothwhenIaskfe.AsIstandontheflooroftheStoge,Ismileatpeoplewhoulyneversawmesmile.
“Isoonfoundthateverybodywassmilingbackatme,Itreatthosewhoewithplaintsrievanacheerfulmanner,IsmileasIlistentothemandIfindthatadjustmentsareaplishedmucheasier.Ifindthatsmilesarebringingmedollars,manydollarseveryday.
“Isharemyoffiotherbroker.OneofhisclerksisalikableyoungdIwassoelatedabouttheresultsIwasgettingthatItoldhimreynewphilosophyofhumaiohewhenIfirstyofficewithhisfirmhethoughtmeaterriblegroulyretlygedhismind.HesaidIwasreallyhumanwhenIsmiled.
“IhavealsoelimiiysysteIgiveappredpraisenowinsteadofnatiooppedtalkingaboutwhatIwant.Iamntoseetheotherperson'sviewpoint.Ahierallyrevolutionizedmylife.Iamatotallydifferentman,ahappierman,ari,rifriendshipsaheonlythingsthatmattermuchafterall.”
Youdon'tfeellikesmiliwothings.First,forceyourselftosmile.Ifyouarealone,forceyourselftowhistleorhumatune.Actasifyouy,andthatwilltendtomakeyouhappy.Hereisthesychologistandphilosopherutit:
Astofollowfeeliioogether;aiion,whiderthemorediretrolofthewill,wedirectlyregulatethefeeling,whiot.
Thusthesnvoluntarypathtoess,ifouressbelost,istositupcheerfullyandtoadspeakasifesswerealreadythere...
Everybodyintheworldisseekihereisoofindit.Thatisbygyhts.Happidependonoutwards.Itdependsoions.
Itisn'twhatyouhaveorwhoyouareorwhereyouareorwhatythatmakesyouhappyorunhappy.Itiswhatyouthinkaboutit.Forexample,twopeoplemaybeinthesameplagthesamething;bothmayhaveaboutanequalamountofmoneyaige—aonemaybemiserableaherhappy.Why?Becauseofadiffereitude.IhaveseenjustasmanyhappyfagthepoorpeasantstoilingwiththeirprimitivetoolsiihetropicsasIhaveseeninair-edoffiewYeles.
&hihergoodorbad,”
saidShakespeare,“butthiso.”
AbeLinarkedthat“mostfolksareaboutashappyastheymakeuptheirmindstobe”
.Hewasright.
Wheneveryougoout-of-doors,drawthe,carrytheoftheheadhigh,andfillthelu;drinkinthesuyourfriendswithasmile,andputsoulintoeveryhandclasp.Dmisuoodanddoethinkingaboutyourenemies.
Trytofixfirmlyinyourmindwhatyouwouldliketodo;ahoffdirehttothegoal.Keepyourmiahingsyouwouldliketodo,ahedaysgoglidingaway,youwillfindyourselfunsciouslyseizingupouarerequiredforthefulfillmentofyourdesire,justastheiheruheelemeureinyourmindtheable,ear,usefulpersoobe,ayouholdishourlytransfyouintothatpartidividual...Thoughtissupreme.Preservearightmentalattitude—theattitudee,frankness,andgoodcheer.Thtlyistocreate.Allthihroughdesireandeverysincereprayerisanswered.Webeelikethatonwhichourheartsarefixed.Carryyourdtheh.Wearegodsinthechrysalis.
&eseiseinthewaysoftheworld;andtheyhadaproverbthatyouandIoughttodpasteis.Itgoeslikethis:“Amanwithoutasmiliopenashop.”
So,adepartmentstoreinNewYorkreofthepressuresitssalesclerkswereunderdurimasrush,presehereadersofitsadvertisementswiththefollowinghomelyphilosophy:
THEVALUEOFA**ILEATCHRISTMAS
Itothing,butcreatesmurichesthosewhoreceive,withoutimpthosewhogive.Ithappensinaflashandthememoryofitsometimeslastsforever.Nonearesorichtheygetalongwithoutit,andnonesopoorbutarericherforitsbecreateshappihehome,foodwillinabusiness,aersigisrestthttothedisced,suhesad,andNature'sbestaotbebought,begged,borrowed,orstolen,foritissomethingthatishlygoodtoanybodytillitisgivenaway.Andifi-minuterushofChristmasbuyingsomeofoursalespeopleshouldbetiveyouasmile,mayweaskyoutoleaveoneofyours?Fornobodyneedsasmilesomuchasthosewhohaveogive!
如果你希望别人热情接待你,你一定要热情接待别人。
我曾要求成千上万的商业人士时刻对某人微笑,持续一个星期后,到班上来讲讲结果。
它会产生怎样的效果呢?让我们来看看……这封信是一个叫威廉·B.史坦哈德的先生写的,他是纽约的一个股票经纪人。
他的情况并不少见,事实上,它是成千上万的案例中典型的一个。
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